B for Bald

“SHE GOT A HEAD AH' HAIR!”

Well, today I thought I would add this bit of information about hair - I will still post the Albert Goldman article about his first visit to Charleston - (its rather long and I still need to complete the typing of the article), but I wanted to mention that I got the port-a-cath out of my chest at 8:00 am, March 29th 2006. What is a port-o-cath? You can read about it by clicking on the highlighted words and see a photo of a sister-cancer-mate with a port-o-cath in her chest. It comes from her site http://www.circusofcancer.org/index.html

Hair loss, baldness, call it what you like. I was thinking about hair and its purpose. Yes, on a biological level it is a part of attracting a mate. I did not shave it off myself - had it been shaved off it might have been done to intimidate as in this film V for Vendetta starring Natalie Portman: http://vforvendetta.warnerbros.com/ . I had to lose my hair for a while as the chemo drugs needed to work their magic by killing rapidly dividing cells in my body.


I cant help but think about short hair in the military also done to intimidate but more importantly to be a part of a group, to fit in, look the same and focus on a particular duty or mission.




Others choose to rebel and that is why they shave their heads.


Some also shave their heads for religious reasons


So, it seems as if I have lost all of my EYELASHES! Bald people usually have their eyelashes! Harumph. Now, after chemo, is when they started falling out! Somehow, that bugs me more than losing all of my hair! Eyelashes really define ones eyes more than some might realize.

I felt like the sales girl in the organic food shop was looking verrrry carefully at my face, and was slightly uncomfortable as well. On the other hand, I am older and wiser now and it did not bug me as much as it owuld have had I been younger. In fact, I found her reaction however slight, to be interesting. I guess because in the end I know my eyelashes will grow back.

Here is a photo of me before I lost all of my eyelashes, but still bald nonetheless.

TRAVEL & LEISURE Magazine Article Feb/Mar 1973 Part 1

Before I tell this story which will be somewhat long, it also will include (in part 2) an article from the magazine Travel & Leisure Feb/Mar 1973. I find it interesting that my Dad's name was Philip and he grew up on St. Philip Street in Charleston, S.C. and had an office on Church Street with a church named St. Philip's Church. (shown above). The church is also in the area where we met a gentleman by the name of Albert Goldman. Nonetheless, I was very lucky to have grown up in such a wonderful city. I know everyone loves and values their hometown, but to have grown up in Charleston with its generous amount of historical information is a real treat. (images)

One day, during Thanksgiving of 1973, I was 11 years old at the time and my Dad, sister and I were walking on Church Street. My father had his office on Church Street, so we were taking a leisurely stroll on the street that is the icon of Charleston itself. While we were out for this walk a man and his girlfriend asked my father for directions. People ask for directions all of the time, but this man, well he looked like he was an MOT and he sounded that way too. What's an MOT? An M.O.T. is a Member Of the Tribe. What tribe? Ah, well that would be the Jewish tribe.

So he was Jewish with a northern accent. Immediately my father wanted to be helpful but was also fascinated by this person. What do you do? Where are you from? Who are you!? How can I connect??... We did not often meet northern Jews in Charleston and if you did they were probably related to someone local. Southern and Northern Jews are different from one another, but that will have to be discussed in another entry. On some level it may not even warrant another entry but I digress...I had to tell that part of the story as it is important later.

Nonetheless, this tourist gentleman turned out to be Albert Goldman, professor and author. He wrote many books that caused a stir after 1973; these books include The Lives of John Lennon and Elvis. At the time we met Goldman in 1973, he was a freelance writer and the editor of the music section of LIFE magazine. It was a crazy time with the Vietnam War affecting many Americans and Nixon in office. Anyhow instead of giving Albert directions, Dad told him to hop in the car and he'd show him around... and oh - please come to our house for dinner - Thanksgiving Dinner!

Two of Dad's Favorite Poems

Richard Cory
By Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace;
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

At Tea
By Thomas Hardy

The kettle descants in a cozy drone,
And the young wife looks in her husband’s face,
And then at her guest’s, and shows in her own
Her sense that she fills an envied place;
And the visiting lady is all abloom,
And says there was never so sweet a room.

And the happy young housewife does not know
That the woman beside her was first his choice,
Till the fates ordained it could not be so . . .
Betraying nothing in look or voice
The guest sits smiling and sips her tea,
And he throws her a stray glance yearningly.

Friends Memories

A giant of a man in a small body. A great friend for nearly 25 yrs. My heart is very sad and my prayers are with Irene and the girls. God Bless and goodbye to my dear friend.

No one had a bigger heart.

Very sorry to hear this sad news...I know my parents as well as my brother were very fond of "Katchkie" and spoke of him often. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

How terribly sorry we were to learn of Philip's death. I would have made it to the funeral had I not made prior commitments. Our hearts are heavy but the streets of heaven have one more angel today (maybe a little short and loud, but an angel nevertheless).

Mr Garfinkel crossed the lines of race and age to share his life and talents with so many people. Thank you Philip for all that you taught me....Love "BJ"

In earlier school days in Charleston, Philip was an energetic natural leader with a great kindness and helpfulness to many. Our paths went in separate directions, but he was a living legend. Our deepest sympathy is extended to his family in this loss.

I'd Rather Be Dancing

When I was a child, holding my father's hand, spending time with him at the local deli or walking through town, people would say hello. Dad's friends would recall memories of their teenage years and times they spent together. My father was a real crackerjack and talented at many things such as dance and sports. My father also loved books and movies. One of his favorite movies was American in Paris with Gene Kelly. Dad also loved Fred Astaire. I will have to ask how my father actually learned how to do these dances (swing dances) people were so amazed to see.




After Dad passed away my aunt received this letter from some old friends. I suppose they are talking about 1949 or 1950 or so when they were in high school and my father was in college.


Dear Sandra,

Burnet and I are so sorry we didn't get to see you when you were here. We wanted to tell you in person how sorry we are about Philip's death. He was a big part of Charleston, and we always enjoyed seeing him.

My first memory of Philip was at an AZA/BBG convention in Savannah. I was in high school, and he and a group of boys from Charleston came over. They were probably in college then. We were at the AA Synagogue for an event, and the entire group stopped dancing, and made a big
circle around Philip and his partner in order to watch him dance. We had never seen anyone dance like that. Of course, today everyone dances like that, but then, it was amazing.

I had the opportunity to work with him when I worked for Dr. [name withheld]. Philip was their accountant, and I worked with him for the five years I was there. He was so bright and on top of things.

He will truly be missed in this community. We send you our deepest sympathies.


I know my Dad is in heaven now and dancing on a cloud. And yes Dad, I am writing this blog about you. You are welcome.