Eulogy for Philip

In Memory of Philip Garfinkel (October 22, 1931 - June 18, 2005)
By: M. Jerry Garfinkel

On behalf of Irene, Wendy and Elyse and the entire family, I want to thank everyone for being here today. Your presence honors the memory of Philip and shows great respect for Irene, Wendy, Elyse and Scott. My father, Nathan, Philip's older brother, is on a cruise in the Baltic and someplace near Estonia and simply could not fly back in time…so I am honored to speak on his behalf about my Uncle Philip.

Philip had many loves in his life…and his life is about his many loves.

Foremost was his wife Irene - when I think of opposites that attract, I think of Irene and Philip – and while their personalities and characters are so different, their warm hearts were the same.

His other loves were his daughters Wendy and Elyse, Philip doted over his girls constantly and completely.

• He was so proud of who they were and are.

• Elyse has been in theater for the past 20 plus years and when a review came out about one of Elyse's performances, Philip would show it to everyone and demand you should read it - then re-read it and then he'd read it to you, to make sure you fully understood and appreciated Elyse's accomplishments and talents.

• Same for Wendy, who is a graphic artist. "Would you look at that!" Philip would say, treating one of Wendy's design pieces as if it were a Leonardo da Vinci original masterpiece.

• When my office was adjacent to Philip's, several times he would barge-in unannounced and show me and my astonished client either a review on Elyse or a graphic design piece by Wendy. Philip wanted to show me what was important to him.

• Anyone close to Philip knew his girls came first - - period!

As everyone should know, Philip was passionate and full of energy - - in fact, what Philip did not have in size, he made up with his passion and energy.

• Philip either passionately liked you, or
• Philip passionately disliked you - - there was no in-between
• Also, people passionately liked Philip - and would forgive his gigantic personality; or
• People passionately disliked Philip and didn't appreciate his personality
• Such was Philip and those who knew him!

Philip was full of energy, but never full of himself. Ken Goodman told me someone once described Philip as "ubiquitous" which means he was everywhere all at once.

That was true - especially in restaurants!

In his earlier days, Philip thought nothing of sampling the plates of several patrons in a restaurant. Philip has been thrown out of many restaurant kitchens. If Philip liked the fried flounder and cole slaw at the old Jimmy Dengates Lounge on Rutledge Avenue (by the old ball park) he'd simply go into the kitchen to get more.

Owners would yell - "Philip, get out of the kitchen!"

You could yell at Philip, and he could yell at you, but it would never destroy any friendship that had been previously built.

When it came to food, Philip was a real "Garfinkel" - he really enjoyed food and lots of it.

Philip grew up on St. Philip and Morris Streets in Charleston. His mother and father (my grandparents) spoke Yiddish and could barely speak and read English. His parents were from the "old school" and "old country" and probably had little control over the 100-mile-an-hour Philip - who could be mischievous, but never bad!




So when Philip had to have his parents sign a note from the principal or a teacher as to Philip's excesses in school, he would simply tell his parents that the notes complimented and congratulated his parents on having such a wonderful son!!! Philip's energy and passion were a part of his life growing up. While he didn't have the size and bulk to be considered athletic, he, in fact, was a good athlete.

He was a speedy softball and baseball player;
He was a great dancer;
He water skied behind Sullivan's Island;
He played ping-pong - - once actually participating in a tournament in NYC;

But his real crowning achievement as an athlete was being head-cheerleader at Carolina, where he told me that during all four years cheerleading at Carolina, Clemson never beat Carolina in football.




I truly believe that Philip actually thought his cheerleading played a large part in those Carolina victories - and it probably did!

His religion - in addition to his girls (all three of them!), let no one forget the Philip was passionate about his religion. While Philip didn't attend synagogue regularly, he loved Judaism and its traditions and was proud that he was a Jew. I once asked Philip who was eating shellfish at a party and talking about being Jewish: wasn't it hypocritical of us eating shrimp, while loving religion which forbids eating of shellfish? Philip always had a quick mind and answer - - he said he never claimed to be perfect, only he felt he belonged to a perfect religion!


So, he studied his religion - he used to attend Wednesday luncheons with the Rabbi - he was passionate about it. Books and knowledge were also a large part of his life. In addition to studying his religion, Philip read - weather it was about history, art or politics - he loved acquiring knowledge – it was fun and pleasurable to Philip.

The hundreds of books all over his house attest to his passion of knowledge and reading.

It is an amazing collection of books.

Philip's energy caused everything around him to swirl when he walked into a room Philip was never a potted-plant lying quietly by the window. He was a pot-stirrer, whether he liked it or not and whether you liked it or not - that was Philip's personality.

The law - someone once said about Winston Churchill, "You should forgive those who have ideas!" When it came to law and accounting and saving his clients money, Philip Garfinkel had ideas.

Philip was one of the few lawyers I know who actually enjoyed practicing law - it mattered not what you thought of Philip or what he was wearing, Philip knew his tax law. Philip possessed something you want in a tax lawyer - imagination and creativity!

Melvin Livingston once sent a client to Philip on a Saturday morning and this fellow comes out of Philip's office asking Melvin - - could he really depend on a lawyer who had a TV set on his desk watching cartoons, wearing a dirty white t-shirt and short pants and no socks!? - Yes, he could!

Charleston - another love of Philip's was this City - his City! Mayor Riley, there was no more effective Ambassador representing our city that Philip Garfinkel - but he was not your ordinary Ambassador.


• He would stop tourists on the street and tell them the history of the building they were viewing;

• He would have tourists look inside houses at the beautiful old English/old Charleston furniture and paintings;

• He would invite tourists to view the private gardens of others! - and people would follow Philip's suggestions and instructions!;

• He didn't need any license to give tours!;

• He would give spontaneous tours to people he'd pick up on the streets looking for directions;

• He'd take them for lunch; and

• He'd even bring them home for dinner - - all total strangers!

Irreverence - sure he was irreverent, but that was Philip's nature! When Irene moved to Charleston some 45 or so years ago, she and Philip lived in a garden apartment on Queen Street that had a window overlooking St. Philip's Church Cemetery. Irene remembers Philip opening that window on several mornings and shouting to the grave stones of John C. Calhoun and others "Everybody Up!" "It's a beautiful day!"

At my brother's bar mitzvah, Philip, not following the service, was looking at the Chumash - - the 5 books of Moses - - and said in a voice a little too loud "You know this is a pretty good book." I believe it was Arnold Prystowsky or someone else who turned around and replied, "It's been on the best seller list for the past 3,500 years" - - Philip immediately responded - "Then we need to get into the publishing business and do it quickly."

Without passion and energy and Chutzpah, there could be no Philip.

Bob Marley once sang, "No Woman, No Pain."

Whether practicing law, eating, talking or playing a tourist guide, it can be said, "No Passion - no Philip."

Heart – finally, Philip Garfinkel also had "heart!" He lived by that heart and I believe that when the energy began seeping from his heart, he and we knew the end was near.

When Philip's heart failed him six years ago (1999), he was in a coma-like state for six months or so. Billy Grossman helped restore Philip and gave him six more precious years (Billy, I know Irene and the girls are grateful to you for that and for how well you treated Kotchkie!!!)

While Philip's overused heart was loosing its energy, Philip never lost his lust for life and his love of family.

Someone once compared life to a story;

It has its good and bad,
It has its ups and downs,
Without the downs, we could not recognize the ups.

• Philip your life has been our up.
• Your leaving us, is our down.

The world is sure going to be a lot less interesting without Philip Garfinkel.